The MISSadventure Team Last night's premiere didn't waste any time jumping right into the fun and drama that we expect from The Bachelor. Let's get down to business! (That phrase always makes me think of Mulan, so here's a gif: You're welcome.) First thing's first: Juan Pablo in a suit. Enough said. | |
Juan Pablo + Sean = Man Crush?
Juan Pablo: "Journey? What should we call this?"
Sean: "An adventure?"
Juan Pablo: "Adventure's good!"
(You're right, Juan, it is good. Here at MISSadventures, we think that's the best word to describe this process.)
In the first ten minutes, we felt sure that Juan Pablo was actually hitting on Sean.
It was a little weird that Sean was the one giving advice. When you think about it, they don't actually know each other. Sean dated Des, then Juan did, so they know of each other by distant association, but probably not on a personal level. Sean received his bachelor coaching from former co-contestant Arie, not a previous bachelor. Anyway...
When Sean was telling Juan Pablo how to avoid drama, Juan Pablo asks, "What else is tricky about this adventure?"
I swear, Juan was giving him bedroom eyes.
Juan Pablo's delivery of compliments
"I'm liking this first limo."
"You smell so good."
And, of course:
As the limos arrived, Juan seemed polite and suave enough, but a lot of his responses teetered on the verge of words, resonating more with guttural animal sounds. A girl would say something and he'd respond with, "Aooooo." "Oh" "Hmmmm."
The question remains—did the women render him speechless, or could he simply not find the English words?
The good news? He has our modern-day lingo down. After meeting the resident masseuse, he said, "Amy J? Cray cray."
The Way Juan Remembers Names
Juan: "What's your name again?"
Nikki: "Nikki."
Juan: "Right. Nikki the Nurse. Your heart... boom boom."
(It's like caveman speak.)
Juan's Description of the Situation
At the cocktail ceremony, he looked a little cocky, yet also nervous. Not quite sure how he was able to pull that combination off, but he did. And he did it well. After saying hello to the group, the video cuts to confessional and he says with a quiver in his voice, "It feels like you're a piece of meat and they want to eat you." The way some of the girls were looking at him, I could see why he would say that.
The girl didn't wear shoes, and during her one-on-one time, she put her dirty feet on Juan Pablo's lap. He thought it was weird, too, yet he kept her around.
Our reaction to Lucy:
"What does it take to be a professional free spirit?"
"And how does one support herself being a free spirit?"
The Most Awkward
First-Impression Rose
of all Time
Juan's opinion of Sharleen: He found her to be elegant, different from the other girls, worldly and apparently she struck his fancy enough for him to give her the first-impression rose.
Her reaction to receiving the first-impression rose: "Seriously?" Long, awkward pause. "Sure..."
Also, you may not have noticed, but she kept calling him 'sir.' That was a little weird.
Can we all please agree that the producers knew Lauren wasn't ready for this situation and put her in harm's way anyway? It becomes obvious not far into the episode that her recent heartbreak (having an engagement broken off over the phone less than a year ago) is still a fresh wound, and she's not ready to find love—especially not in such a crazy situation!
This poor girl's breakdown wasn't like others in the past (a la Jenna from Season 16). You could tell she was fighting it; she didn't want anyone to see her like that. I wish the producers would've saved her a world of pain by choosing someone else to fill that spot, or at least not showcase her so heavily throughout the episode.
Bonus! Our Random Observations:
"Does giving a massage count as performing a special skill?"
"I think Chris Harrison just 'good game' patted Juan's booty."
Alexis, Ashley, Christine, Kylie, Lacy, Lauren, Maggie, and Valerie.